Hi everyone!
I just wanted to write to you all and share some happy news! Sorry for the extremely long-winded email - I'm emotional.
As you know, last year was a tough one for us. We were so thrilled to be pregnant with our first baby and absolutely heartbroken when it didn't work out. During that experience, though, we had the support and love of all of you, and wrapped up in that were some pretty life-changing spiritual experiences too.
In one of my more 'interesting' dreams last year, I actually heard a voice say, "I will send you a promise - a rainbow." That year was definitely the summer of beautiful rainbows, and I have the pictures to prove it! Every time I had any doubts about my faith or where life would take me next, another amazing rainbow would pop up. I wasn't sure what it meant at the time, but it gave me some comfort.
By this April, I had actually forgotten about the rainbows, but it was a long, annoying winter, and the sweetest thing reminded me of it.
We had gone home to visit Mom and Dad, and my niece, Julia, wanted to do art projects with me. She had me show her how to paint a rainbow. She made a beautiful one but got upset when the colors began to run together. I went into the kitchen to talk to Mom for a bit. When I came back, she had covered the table with what she considered "failed" rainbow attempts. They were beautiful. I was surrounded by them, and I remembered my dream and had a little moment.
I didn't know at the time, but I was pregnant again!
Maybe it was just an unrelated moment that triggered a happy memory, but for some reason it felt like more than that. This kid has always been in tune with me. Like last year, when I visited - not knowing what I had been through, she said, "I can be your baby," and curled up in my arms. I held her, held back my tears, and cuddled and talked with her for a long time.
The doctors had some concerns at the beginning of this pregnancy, so I had 3 ultrasounds. We currently have a fridge full of pictures. First, we just saw a tiny little circle. The doctor wanted to see a heartbeat at the next ultrasound. Only 7 days later, Mark and I were holding hands in the doctor's office, crying at seeing the little heart beating on the screen. Our baby also had a little head and tiny body.
A week after that, I had another little scare, and they had me rush in for another ultrasound. Everything was 100% fine - healthy pregnancy, and we got to see a bigger baby, heart still beating, some basic facial features, and some limbs forming! In 1 week!
From then on, all was fine. Fast-forward to this last Friday, my first "official" prenatal visit. They did another ultrasound, and we saw the little guy (or gal) looking happy and healthy, heart beating away, and his little hand curled up next to his face. (I'm calling it 'he" for now.) I read in my What to Expect book that we may see some movement. I thought maybe an arm or leg would twitch. He didn't disappoint - at one point in the ultrasound, he stretched out his arms and legs and rolled over completely. We could see hands, fingers, feet, arms, and legs!
We freaked out. We were sure something was wrong, and I wanted to make sure he had enough room in there to dance, swim, and do whatever else he needed to do. The doctor thought we were pretty ridiculous, but news is that the baby's doing fine, and the doctor insists he's quite happy with us.
So, now I'm almost at my 13th week - a good place to be, though I'm still nervous and want to get to 15 weeks. I'll feel much more secure then and will have all new things to worry about, I'm sure.
But for now, I wanted to keep you all informed, especially since some family knows, and a few "baby" comments have leaked on Facebook.
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading my weepy email! Please keep sending the positive thoughts and/or prayers! They work!
Will keep you updated! Love to all of you!
Gretch (& Mark too!)
